Update on Mom Labor Day Weekend 2014

On Saturday I taught a class in the morning and arrived at Mom’s to relieve Jennifer. I greeted Mom as I always do with a kiss and asked her how she was doing.

She said she was fine and told me that she was glad that I finally visited. She said that there had been several ladies there with her that day but didn’t know who they were. They even had brought her apples. Of course Jennifer was sitting right there and I knew that Angie had been there as well. (she didn’t know either one of her granddaughters) I decided I would ask the question that I had been dreading to ask; to see if she knew me.

I said, “Mom who am I?” She said “Ruby Lee!” I smiled and said, “Ok! I will be Ruby Lee today.” She said, “WELL! Do you want me to call you Jew?” First of all I have to tell you that my Mom and her sisters all have nicknames that they went and go by. Mom is Toots, her older sister Ruby Lee was Jew (to me she was Aunt Bea), and her little sister Martha is Smart.

 You know I had thought long and hard about how I would feel on the day that Mom would not know me. I thought maybe it would be a lot easier to be with her if she didn’t know me. I think I have changed my mind about that. (she sure looks good doesn’t she?)

Memories of my Mom teaching me not to lie came flooding over me that day and the next. I remember her saying that one lie leads to another one and another one and so on and so on. She said it was like digging a hole that you could never get out of. Even though I remembered this, I decided to play along with the game of me being Aunt Bea.

As my Mom started asking me questions about if I still lived in my own home and how she loved my car. I told her that I did not live in my own home that my kids had put me in a nursing home. Mom couldn’t believe that no one had told her and then she asked, “WELL if you live in a nursing home how can you still drive your car. (the hole was being dug)

She then asked me about my Aunt Bea’s best friend Betty Beebe and wondered if she was still living. Of course I didn’t have a clue whether Betty was still living so I said, “I don’t know.” Mom then asked, “How do you not know whether your best friend is dead or alive?”

My response was, “Because! I had a stroke and I have lost my mind.” (a deeper hole and I’m not seeing a way out) Again, Mom said that no one had told her that I (Aunt Bea) had a stroke. But she said that she understood about the losing your mind thing.

These types of conversations continued all throughout the long Holiday weekend. One time I asked her, “Mom who am I married to?” and she said, “JOHN GONE-ZALES! It is so strange how the Alzheimer’s affects the brain and she is still able to remember my husband and Jackie’s but doesn’t quite understand how they fit into the picture with us; because in her mind we are not her daughters. Jackie is her cousin Eleanor and I am her older sister Ruby Lee. And she points that out to everyone who comes to visit; that I am older than she is by 5 years. Aunt Bea was 5 years older than Mom. 

 

I had a great long weekend with Mom and was able to complete quite a few crocheted items to add to my Kansas Barn Sale stash. I only have two more Saturdays before October 4^th and every spare minute I have I am crocheting hats, scarves, and fingerless mitts for it. 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway Mom continues to be monitored daily and she seems to be content with the things that she is still able to do; like preparing breakfast, peeling apples, cutting vegetables, holding a needle in her fingers, sweeping with a broom, sitting at the sewing machine and sometimes able to make a seam.

 

 

We will continue to encourage Mom to do as many things as she feels comfortable doing and as long as she is safe and happy we are all happy. Mom still enjoys small groups of people and short visits so if you would like to visit please contact Jackie or me. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!