Posted by: tgonzales | April 17, 2013

Not Much Going on Here Except Missing my Brother


Tomorrow April 18th my brother Dean would have been 61. It seems like days will go by and I will hardly think of him and then other days his memories come flooding back to me. His birthday and the anniversary of his death seem to be the hardest. I was forwarded this photo of Dean just the other day and the memories of our younger days and the days before his passing came flooding back to me.


Gosh I remember the good times when we were children, all of my brothers and sister played together and had such fun. I remember when he started dating Ann and how he would call me into the bathroom so that I could check his sideburns to make sure he had cut them evenly. (remember the sideburns from the 70’s?) He would turn his head from one side to the other and ask me, β€œTamara, are they even?” Of course I would tell him that they were just perfect because he wanted to look perfect for his date. He would also have me polish his shoes and wash his car for his dates, of course he would pay me around $5 to do it and I was excited to have the money. Those were the good times. πŸ™‚

Tommy, Deanie, and Terry

It’s still hard to believe that he is actually gone and I want to pick up the phone and give him a call to see how he is doing and to hear all about what his grandkids are doing. He always loved to call me and tell me about what each and every one of them were doing. I often wonder if they all know how much he truly loved them. Anyway, for now I will be content with my good memories of my brother Deanie and hope that his memory lives on in each of his children and grandchildren too.


  1. Sending you a hug from chilly Cape Town xxx I often wonder what it would have been like to have a brother. Or a sister, for that matter.

    • Hi Jill!

      I can feel your hugs from here. My best description of having brothers and a sister is a friend for life. Of course there are some brothers and sister who don’t get along and never will, but we were raised in a family that loved and respected each other and I think that my Mom and Dad had a lot to do with that. πŸ™‚ Oh by the way I could be your substitue sister if you would like? πŸ˜‰

      Love, Tamara.

      • Awwww, thank you. I’ve only seen your reply now and am VERY TOUCHED. Please consider yourself accepted into my family as my sister. In fact, all I have is a daughter (and a mom but she lives far away) so you pretty much ARE my family now!!!! Sis. πŸ™‚

      • You make me smile, really big! πŸ™‚

  2. Awww, Tamara, I know how you are feeling to some extent. It’s hard when you lose someone you love so much, but those memories you have can never be taken away. I didn’t have the same close relationship with my brother, but I sure do miss talking to him and hearing his mischievous giggle. Hugs!

    • Jeanne,

      I thought of you as I wrote this post and knew that you missed your brother too. Thanks for understanding. Love and Hugs, Tamara

  3. Such lovely memories! Priceless, Tamara.

    • Hi Mindy!

      Thanks so much for stopping to read and comment. It makes me smile!


  4. Tamara,
    When I was young and frustrated with my children she would say, “Remember, every day is for making memories, make sure they are good memories”. Your family certainly made good memories with all your pictures and stories.

    • Hi Kaye!

      Those are good words to live by. Thanks for sharing them with us.


  5. Oh Tammy, the pain of loosing a sibling will be with you forever. There are many days that I miss Butch so much but I can honestly say I wouldn’t bring him back in the condition he was in for nothing. I take comfort in knowing that he is so happy now and I will see him again. He watches over all of us now (and probably has a laugh or two). Love you much. sw

    • Hi Sue!

      I know you hurt too and you know how I feel. It was so sudden and unexpected but I know it doesn’t hurt any less for you when you knew Butch was so sick. Dean watches over us too; he seems to show up in the funniest places. Like the photo at the top of this post was found in my brother-in-laws desk at work. Thanks for stopping by to remember Dean with me.

      Love you Much,

  6. Good memories of Dean Kingery…..What an honor to be a part of the Kingery family….Makes me smile!!! Love you all!!

    • Hi Debbie!

      You were always like a little sister to my brothers and me. Makes me smile too.

      Love you,

  7. Oh Tamara, I am welling up with tears. I so very much am feeling your sadness right now. That is a great photo of Dean .. as are the other photos. You are blest to have so many wonderful, happy, “closeness” memories with Dean and the rest of your family. Those will always stay close to your heart, fur sure! .. If you get the opportunity (actually, *make* the opportunity), TELL Dean’s grandkids about how he would call you & chatter on & on about them with such love.

    A great big HUG for {{{{{Tamara}}}}} ~

    • Thanks Kat for feeling my sadness. It means alot when my friends understand. I will make an effort to tell Dean’s children and grandchildren how much he loved them, if I can keep from crying. Thanks so much for the HUGE hugs!

      Love you my friend,

      • Tamara, dear friend, do even *with* tears. πŸ™‚
        Much L-O-V-E …. Kat

  8. I wish you some little bit of peace, Tamara. Hugs and kisses.

    It isn’t the same, but I miss hearing my Grandma’s voice. It would raise just a little higher with excitement when she would see me and say “Well hi, there!”. Her voice changing when she saw me was like huge hugs and kisses and the sweetest love all wrapped in one – and she didn’t know it. I knew her happiness was all about me “just being me” in that moment- it translated!

    We keep them alive in our hearts. I am sure the grandkids have wonderful memories and know, in their own way, how much he loved them.

    You have such a big and wonderful heart, girl, I am sorry when it’s sad.

    Thinking of you, Tamara.

    • Hi Steph!

      Thanks so much for stopping by to remember my brother with me. I also loved hearing about your Grandma; it sounds like you had a very special relationship with her and your memories will always keep her alive in your heart.

      I think of you often and wonder what funny things you are up to.

      Love, Tamara

  9. There’s not a day goes by, that I don’t think of my buddy Dean. I miss calling him on his cell, and hearing that sharp quick “Hello”, as if he’s been just waiting to hear you call. I’ve not taken his name and phone number off my cell phone yet, hoping someday I’ll wake up, and it had all been a bad dream.
    Happy birthday Dean….Were all right here, thinking of you,

    • Hi Kevin!

      It was so sweet of you to stop by to read about Dean and to remember him with me. He loved all his friends too and I too wish that it was all a bad dream. I have to confess that I deleted his phone numbers from my cell phone only a couple of months ago. Thanks so much for stopping by to comment.

      Hugs, Tamara

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