Posted by: tgonzales | August 20, 2012

My Brother Terry

As long as I can remember Terry was not only my brother but he was my friend. Of course he was because he was born not 2 years and 4 months before me but 3 years and 4 months before me. He turned 59 on Wednesday, August 15, 2012 and not 58 like I said in my last post. I needed to clear that up. 😉

I loved playing with Terry growing up; he always made everything fun. I remember he taught me how to build mud pies and he would build complete roads with bridges in our sandy driveway so that I could push cars and trucks along those little tiny roads.

Terry has always had a soft place in his heart for children and animals. From early on I remember him taking care of a stray dog that someone must have dumped out into the country. (that’s the only way we ended up with dogs and cats) No store bought animals for us.

The dog that I remember the most was Peanuts. He was a mix breed of mostly Collie. But Peanuts loved to chase cars on Ridge Road where we lived. Sometimes Peanuts would win and other times Peanuts would get hit by the car.

Peanuts survived for many years and I still think the reason he survived all of the car hits was because Terry had a way of loving and caring him back to health each time.

I still remember when Peanuts was dying; Terry was allowed to sleep out in the doghouse with him and then while we were all at school, Mom had the neighbor come over and put Peanuts out of his misery. All of us kids were heartbroken; but most of all Terry.

Anyway, I wanted to share some of the fond memories I have of my brother Terry. I have also wanted to tell all of you that Terry has a disease known as Chron’s. I wasn’t for sure exactly how to tell you and the exact cause of Crohn’s disease is unknown. It is an autoimmune disorder. An autoimmune disorder is a condition that occurs when your body’s immune system mistakenly attacks and destroys healthy body tissue.

People with Crohn’s disease have ongoing (chronic) inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract (GI tract). Crohn’s disease may involve the small intestine, the large intestine, the rectum, or the mouth. The inflammation causes the intestinal wall to become thick.

There are different types of Crohn’s disease. The type depends on what part of your body is affected.

The following seem to play a role in Crohn’s disease:

  • ·         Your genes
  • ·         Environmental factors
  • ·         The body over-reacts to normal bacteria in the intestines

Crohn’s disease may occur at any age. It usually occurs in people between ages 15 – 35. You can read more about it here. 

 By the time Terry was diagnosed with Chron’s disease he had lost a lot of weight and was so ill that he was hospitalized. The doctors finally found a medication that helped him gain back his weight and strength. It took quite some time and that was about 15 years ago. Of course he had flair ups from time to time, (this photo was taken May 2009)

 but he became familiar with food items that made it flair up and he avoided those foods. (this photo was taken June 2011)


This was from the Kingery reunion in September 2011.

This was taken at my Daddy’s funeral in October 2011.


This photo was taken at my brother Tom and sister-in-law Linda’s birthday party. I couldn’t help but notice how thin Terry had gotten and asked him at that time if everything was ok. As usual he said he was fine and that he was having a little trouble with something that he had ate. 


This photo was taken at Joshua’s homecoming party on May 24, 2012. I thought that he looked a little bit skinnier here just a week or so after the birthday party. He again said that he just needed to watch what he ate.

In July my Mom got a phone call from Terry and he said that he wasn’t doing well and that he had lost down to 140 lbs. He was having trouble keeping any food into his system and that he hadn’t worked for over a week. His body was too weak. He also asked if my Mom could come to his house to help him take care of Miss Lily as his daughter-in-law, Kim would be entering into the hospital for preeclampsia symptoms. Of course my Mom called all of us and explained to us that Terry’s Chron’s had showed its ugly head again and that he wasn’t doing well and that she was heading to Madison to help with Miss Lily. That same week Terry’s doctor started him on a new medication and made an appointment for him to see a Gastrointestinal doctor here in Wichita in September. This photo was taken the day after the birth of his second grandchild Charlie. His body reminds me of an elderly mans and his clothes just hung on his body.

Terry is still working on putting on weight and continuing to take his medication as instructed by his doctor in Madison, and hopes that he will continue on his healing path until he can see the specialist in September. When Mom asked if I could take her to see Terry while I was on vacation I jumped at the chance to do so and I again jumped at the chance to help Mom organize a wonderful surprise 59th birthday party for my brother and friend.  

 I am so glad that we could gather for Terry’s 59th birthday; as we all know how precious these times are together. Now I would like to ask for special prayers for my dear brother Terry to help him heal and get strong again so he can be here to watch his other two children get married and watch his grandchildren grow. I want to thank all of you for being here and always listening and hope you continue to like what I have to write about. It means a lot to me.


  1. Tamara, I know a little about Terry’s illness, it is very hard to deal with. Clearly he has wonderful doctors and, of course, an extremely wonderful family. Your post made me cry. xxx

    • Good Morning Jill!

      Thanks so much for stopping by to comment and as usual for for understanding what we’re all going through. Family and friends are very important to us and we appreciate them all.

      Much love,

  2. My own brother has a birthday VERY soon, and I worry about him too. I’ll be sure to pray for BOTH our brothers, o.k.?… Love all your photos, Tamara! (the older black-n-whites are SO-ooo SWEET!)…. Hugs, and have a great day!

    • Hi Tina!

      Thanks so much for stopping by to read and comment. I’ll make sure I pray for your brother as well. Thanks for liking the photos of me and my brother and brothers.

      Love and Hugs,

  3. Oh Tammy your story about Terry brought tears to my eyes also. I remember many of these pictures and when all of you kids were this young. You have some good memories and I know how much you treasure each of them. I know Terry’s health is a real concern to all of your family and I pray that some day they find a cure for it as well as a cure for cancer, diabetes, and heart disease. The few people that I know with Chron’s disease are all very thin just like Terry and still manage to work hard and always have a smile on their faces. I pray for all your family.. Love you girl. sw

    • Thanks Sue for the encouraging words. I’m glad I could bring back some good memories for you and as you probably know I shed quite a few tears writing and rewriting this post. Thanks so much for stopping by today and for the prayers; they mean alot to me and our family.

      Love you,

  4. Tamara,
    I wouldn’t miss your blog for anything. Your family is typical and reminds me of mine. Thank you for taking the time to write and record their history.

    • Hi Kaye!

      Thanks so much for liking what I write about and for understanding that I need to record it.

      Love and Hugs,

  5. Hey Tamara ~

    WHAT??!!?? No photo of Peanuts?? 😦

    Such great photos from your childhood, plus more current ones. That Terry is one good-lookin’ guy. Love his smile! Makes me mad that he has Crohns to deal with again. I am so glad you posted all about this here becuz that means even more people will pray for him. I’ll be glad when he gets to see the Specialist in Sept. Maybe that doctor will have a better plan to help him thru this. I’ll pray that he does!!

    I’m sure Terry had a fantastic fifty-NINTH [tee-hee] birthday celebration with his family with him. Another great time for all your memory banks. 🙂

    With love & prayers ~

    • Hi Kat!

      I’m sorry about no photo of Peanuts. I think I might have one of him. My Mom probably gave all the photos of Peanuts to Terry since he was so good with him and seemed to love him the most.

      Thanks so much for the prayers and I’m also praying that the specialist will have just the right kind of medication to help him gain some weight and get back on track so that he can do his work that he wants to do.

      Love you my Friend,

  6. I will add my Terry and you to my prayers too. X

    • Thanks Cathy! It means an awful lot to hear from all of you and thanks so much for stopping by to comment. Hugs, Tamara

  7. Your brother is a brave guy. My ex-husband had Crohn’s for over 40 years. Unfortunately, he passed away in September 2010.

    I will keep you and Terry in my thoughts and prayers.

    • Debbie,

      I’m so sorry to hear of your loss of your dear husband. He must have been very brave too. Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers, they mean a lot.


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